Every single part of you is welcome here — your anger and your joy, your accomplishments and your regrets, the parts you are proud of and the parts you try to hide. Let’s do the radical work of being fully human together.

Learning To Be At Home

I am happiest at home in a sunny nook with my computer and a cat on my lap. If I’m not there, I want to be outside — doesn’t matter if it’s a city park or in the wild by a river. Nature is my medicine.

Growing up in a little tiny farm town of 700 people gave me the early imprint of home and community. 

I’ve always valued having three soul-friends over ten casual ones. 

If I have to go to a party, I’d rather find a corner and hear about your deepest regrets and greatest joys than make chit-chat with everyone in the room.

 This pull between intense introversion and deep desire for connection has been one of my great paradoxes… and teachers.

It’s part of why I fell in love with Yoga in the mid-90s. We can be alone together. Yoga is a method of knowing myself and my place in the world. (Read more about my Yoga street cred here.)

People often ask how I got into grief work. While I’d like to say it’s only because I’ve always been at home in deep (and even dark) emotion, I don’t think people chose this profession without a personal connection.  You can read my Underworld story of loss here. Like any underworld journey, it reminded me that some things can’t be fixed, only held and cared for.

We all have “afters” — after the divorce, after she died, after the layoff. 

Often, after a period of exile or suffering, we have to re-claim and re-member ourselves. We gather our fragments of soul, pieces of ourselves that have been lost, and learn a new life.

Every single part of you is welcome here — your anger and your joy, your accomplishments and your regrets, the parts you are proud of and the parts you try to hide. Let’s do the radical work of being fully human together. 

There’s Nothing Wrong With You

Because it seems like we could all use a reminder. There’s nothing wrong with you. And secondarily: You’re not doing it wrong.

The message that there is something wrong with us is everywhere — foremost in the media (their pocketbooks depend on it!). And there may be people in your life — well-meaning people — who subtly give you the message that you’re wrong in some way. And perhaps even more sad is the way we talk to ourselves about ourselves.

As though everything in nature doesn’t come with variance and uniqueness. 

For years I have watched people grasp for the illusion of “right.”  All the ways they think they aren’t doing it right:

  • The right way to do a yoga pose (which would depend on who you ask, your body, the season, the reason you’re doing the pose and so much more).
  • Feeling like they’re not having the right emotions (which is based on where, when and by whom we were raised, and all the things that have happened in our lives — no two alike, not even in the same family).
  • Just generally like they’re wrong — the wrong hair, the wrong body type, the wrong response, the wrong choice, the wrong [fill in the blank].

Do you relate?

What if there is nothing wrong with you. Exactly as you are, right now. Like, truly, you felt entitled to feel and be exactly you. Not a little more this or that, not in five more pounds and even with that grudge you carry. 

Maybe if that low-grade pressure was off and we felt the warmth of self acceptance and love, we’d be more kind — to ourselves and others. We’d drink more water and remember to donate to the Sierra Club. But that wouldn’t be the goal. It might happen because we could relax into our wholeness, not because we shamed ourselves.

You, my friend, just like the trees and the rivers and creatures of all kinds, are brilliantly you. You could call it perfect or whole or you could call it being.

I see you, just as you are, and there is nothing wrong with you.

The truth of the natural world is this: Each season initiates us for the next.

And so it is with life.

You Are An Entire Ecosystem

All parts of ourselves are related. We are complex, beautiful, messy and full of contradiction. This is how it’s supposed to be.

When we forget this, we get dry, we lose access to our intuition, we self-blame and push, push, push. We think we can conquer the body and bribe the mind, as though they are separate. We might have aches, pains and dis-ease. Life can feel monotonous and gray.

Yet we know that compartmentalizing aspects of ourselves long-term creates isolation. And nothing thrives in isolation. 

There’s another way, the way of the wholehearted return to self. You are a Whole person, interpreted two ways. First, you are whole as you are, not lacking anything. Second, you are not parts or compartments, but an entire ecosystem.

Which is why I love nature as a metaphor and teacher. 

 Seasonal and lunar thinking helps us live in circular time, normalizes the phases of life and invites us to have faith in the unseen, uncertain. 

This type of work asks us to face what still hurts. And that’s hard.

You’ll find validation and resources and encouragement here that can support you as you step through whatever is here in your life. Be it efforts toward physical or emotional health, loss or heartbreak, there are practices and reminders in these pages to meet yourself where you are. 

One of the things I am reminded of over and over is, We can’t do this alone. The medicine of re-membering ourselves happens in community.

I’m so glad you’re here.

Woo-Woo Meets Practical

I’m a lover of story and myth, poetry and metaphor.
I grew up with the understanding that plants and animals could communicate with us.
I like to cleanse my energy with fresh geranium.
Both my sun and moon are in Capricorn, with Cancer rising.
My altars are alive with symbols, gems and treasures.
I could make a profession out of studying herbs, archetypes and all things witchy.
The moon is my friend, and we talk.

In other words, I love me some woo-woo.

Especially when served with a side of pragmatism.

I’m not going to tell you that crystals will fix everything or your chakras are out of alignment. Not that I don’t work with both crystals and chakras. But I won’t diagnose you, nor will I try to “fix” you. You are not broken, even if it feels like it.

What I believe in is magic. The magic of getting good sleep and eating good food. The magic of plant medicine, of sitting by a stream, of setting an intention. 

Let’s make things by hand, including our lives, and go at the pace of the body: A cup of tea, journalling, taking a walk, pausing for a moment to really feel yourself. 

It’s not so much what we do, it’s the way we do it.

So bring your woo, bring your pragmatic self. You’re now part of the companionship of the Wholehearted inner circle where people will get you, respect your process and let you be exactly you.

Let’s make things by hand, including our lives,
and go at the pace of the body:
A cup of tea, journalling, taking a walk, pausing for a moment to really feel yourself. 

What To Do Next

Thank you for being here — make yourself at home.

You’ll find all kinds of articles on the blog. Reader favorites include It’s not like in the movies, When you need a bigger container,  Bear it, or bare it?, and The importance of feeling safe.

Be sure to download the Come Home to Yourself Quotes.

And the 5 Pieces of Proof That You’re Not Doing it Wrong.

If you are in contact with the Underworld (in grief, experiencing any kind of loss), listen to the Feel Your Feelings Meditation. Heck, this is a practice I find useful even on a good day.

Downloading any of these resources brings you into the Wholehearted Circle. Almost every week, you’ll get a short email plus first dibs on new courses and access to Circle-only giveaways. 

Check out the events and other ways to be together. Because it’s harder to do this alone.

Stay in touch  and take care of yourself.